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The Bohemian
Creed


The Bohemian Creed
Living Stipulations
  1. Born in the old neighborhood
  2. Make money
  3. Move to Berwyn
  4. Build 2-flat and live in basement (you get more rent for the first and second floor than for renting the basement)
  5. Do not use living room
  6. Cover all furniture with bed sheets
  7. Do not heat in winter time unless guests are expected
  8. After removing screens in the fall, wash screens and put in living room against furniture at a 30 degree angle; these screen will be used to dry houby (mushrooms)
  9. Should have car, ten years old, in perfect condition, with not more than 3000 miles
  10. Keep shined and covered
  11. Do not move from garage except on Sundays
  12. Prior to removing car from garage, scan skies for possible inclement weather; if forecast is acceptable, prepare for "houby" hunt
  13. Camouflage all houby hunting equipment from neighbors, proceed to secret place for houby with caution, i.e., drive through alleys, around the block several times, down wide streets to insure you are not being followed by neighbors who discover place for your houby picking
 

Standard Diet
  1. Sunday Knedlicky and Zeli with veprovy (pork) or kachna (duck)
  2. Monday re-heat leftovers with rye bread with kmin (caraway)
  3. Friday plum dumplings with melted low-priced spread
  4. Notice: do not buy homogenized milk; regular milk in cartons is better -- the cream can be skimmed-off the top for father's coffee and skim milk is good for mother's diet and for the children; also, the wax paper cartons burn real well and help save on the fuel bill
 

Important Incidentals
  1. Wife must save all brown paper bags, strings, rope, jars, and other valuable and useable articles
  2. The wife must have cold beer for father at all times and must be unquestionably obedient and frugal
  3. Father and older children should have day job at Western Electric; wife works on third shift at Western's while father sleeps
  4. On payday, father will take paychecks without cashing them, ride his bicycle to Olympic Savings and Loan, and make a deposit
  5. Advantages of living in the basement are: one never hears of a Bohemian committing suicide by jumping out of a window and taxes are kept lower because the fire department needs only very short ladders.
 

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Webmaster: Chris Miksanek
Last updated: November 18, 1999